rain.

It's been rainy in Hillsdale for more than a week.  Every day, there is no sun, and the ground squishes when I walk.  Every day I've refused to wear my rain boots, and then my little canvas knock-off vans get all wet down at the toe.  I walk and sigh and internally I feel like if the sun came out, then I would be happy.  

There is a fabulous song by the Oh Hello's that reminds me of how I should feel about the rain. Please listen to it.

You know those days when you feel like you're going to be flipping burgers for the rest of time as we know it?  You know how that feeling can be brought about by one single hour of your life spent struggling over an exam?  Think about it: if we live for 80 years, that's seven hundred thousand, eight hundred hours. 700,800.  I should probably not get hung up on just one.  But I always hate it when adults say, "In thirty years, is this exam going to matter?" Well, hell yes it's going to matter if this exam is one of many failed exams which keep me from getting accepted to grad school which keeps me from doing what I want to do with my life which keeps me from being happy.

This is why we can't expect people who don't know Jesus to be happy.  If you don't know Jesus, your happiness has be based on things like clouds, and exam scores, and what color your car is painted.  Those are some awfully fickle things, which means your happiness will end up being awfully fickle as well.

I don't want to be fickly happy.  Like CS Lewis said: "Do not let your happiness depend on something you may lose...only (upon) the Beloved who will never pass away."

Clouds and exams should not dictate my happiness.  There's more to life.  Much, much more.